Dear Readers/ Bloggers,
Sorry i have not posted in a while. Things in my life have gotten hectic, im back at school. Preparing for my art exams. its crazy how busy my life has got.
i miss the care free attitude i had when i was writing. i WILL continue to write blogs.
hopefully by the end of next week i will have 2 new blogs prepared and ready for you too read.
Dont loose faith in me.
thank you
Ashleii xo
Sunday, 13 December 2015
Wednesday, 14 October 2015
Theres a WAR who's side are you on
Dear Bloggers/Readers,
Okay this is a random Blog but i just had to write it.
Okay so i just got on the phone with my crazy Best Friend Hannah, while im Sitting with my other best friend Emma. Hannah as you know is black and Emma is white. So basically, i answered the phone and Hannah said she wanted to ask me something. This is how are conversation went.
"Ashleii can i ask you a question, but you might take offence to this"- Hannah
Insert Emma's Laugh
"okay what do you want to ask me?" - me
pause
"If there's a war Between Black people and White people who's side are you on"
Laughter from all of us.
If you didnt know i am mixed race, so that is why she asked.
I didnt know how to respond i just could not stop myself from laughing. I mean how do you respond to something like that. I knew what my response would be but still. We could not stop laughing. Emma's sitting next to be about to have a fit and holding her stomach and hannah is on the phone laughing her arse off. Me, im still crying from laughter.
I just said "its a war between black people and white people, we mixed race people are exactly that our own race, so ill leave you guys too it" i thought my answer was brilliant however emma and hannah still couldn't stop laughing.
I wasnt going to choose, i have family who are both black and white. I know this is a random topic and im sorry if people take offence to this, this is not my intention. i wanted to share a funny moment with my friends and i think its a thing to talk about. so if you have any questions or if you have your own opinion, PLease share.
ANyway Random Blog over.
LAters
from Me (ashleii) , Emma and Hannah xo
Okay this is a random Blog but i just had to write it.
Okay so i just got on the phone with my crazy Best Friend Hannah, while im Sitting with my other best friend Emma. Hannah as you know is black and Emma is white. So basically, i answered the phone and Hannah said she wanted to ask me something. This is how are conversation went.
"Ashleii can i ask you a question, but you might take offence to this"- Hannah
Insert Emma's Laugh
"okay what do you want to ask me?" - me
pause
"If there's a war Between Black people and White people who's side are you on"
Laughter from all of us.
If you didnt know i am mixed race, so that is why she asked.
I didnt know how to respond i just could not stop myself from laughing. I mean how do you respond to something like that. I knew what my response would be but still. We could not stop laughing. Emma's sitting next to be about to have a fit and holding her stomach and hannah is on the phone laughing her arse off. Me, im still crying from laughter.
I just said "its a war between black people and white people, we mixed race people are exactly that our own race, so ill leave you guys too it" i thought my answer was brilliant however emma and hannah still couldn't stop laughing.
I wasnt going to choose, i have family who are both black and white. I know this is a random topic and im sorry if people take offence to this, this is not my intention. i wanted to share a funny moment with my friends and i think its a thing to talk about. so if you have any questions or if you have your own opinion, PLease share.
ANyway Random Blog over.
LAters
from Me (ashleii) , Emma and Hannah xo
Tuesday, 13 October 2015
Truth
Dear Bloggers/Readers,
This is going to be a short one,
Basically i wanted to say thank you to those who read Dark Days and didn't judge me. There is so much stuff that has gone in my life that has fucked me up. In many of my posts i have tried not to reveal too much as to what has happened to me.
To me sharing everything that has gone on in my life is scary, and it frightens me. Many people who read this go to my school and i don't know if i could handle them knowing. I think i need to take my own advice and Be Bold but its a lot harder than it looks.
I think if i want to be able to share my Story it will have to start of with the little things. I dont think i could write my biggest issue, its hard for me to re-live it and it brings memorys back that i would rather forget. But i will try because i want to be strong and i dont want to have those Dark Days any more.
I will also start to write a bit more about the books i read along with having little rants here and there on certain topics. I also want to start Reviewing Blogs so that i can see what other people do and give my opinion. i want to branch out as well as keep somethings personal.
I apologise for the small Blog but there will be a good read tomorrow ( i hope :D)
i hope you all have a good day and just remember to smile.
Ashleigh xo
This is going to be a short one,
Basically i wanted to say thank you to those who read Dark Days and didn't judge me. There is so much stuff that has gone in my life that has fucked me up. In many of my posts i have tried not to reveal too much as to what has happened to me.
To me sharing everything that has gone on in my life is scary, and it frightens me. Many people who read this go to my school and i don't know if i could handle them knowing. I think i need to take my own advice and Be Bold but its a lot harder than it looks.
I think if i want to be able to share my Story it will have to start of with the little things. I dont think i could write my biggest issue, its hard for me to re-live it and it brings memorys back that i would rather forget. But i will try because i want to be strong and i dont want to have those Dark Days any more.
I will also start to write a bit more about the books i read along with having little rants here and there on certain topics. I also want to start Reviewing Blogs so that i can see what other people do and give my opinion. i want to branch out as well as keep somethings personal.
I apologise for the small Blog but there will be a good read tomorrow ( i hope :D)
i hope you all have a good day and just remember to smile.
Ashleigh xo
Monday, 12 October 2015
Dark Days
Dear Bloggers/Readers,
Where do i begin. Everyone has those days where they just want to stay in bed and never get up. It happens all the time, you start to feel down and you just dont want to move. You are content to stay in the position you are in because you are in a place where you dont want to leave.
Throughout my life i have had many ups and downs. Mainly downs, they brought me to a place where i felt like i shouldnt be here any more. like i didnt deserve to be on this earth. I was very troubled when i was in high school, i was very good at hiding everything. Only a few people actually knew the real me and what was going on.
I was angry at the world for everything that had happened to me. Very bad things happened when i was younger and i felt like i deserved it, like i had brought it on myself. i could have easily blamed my parents for what happened. some part of me felt that it was their fault, if they hadnt abandoned me and left me, maybe i wouldnt be here today writing this and would have never had to experience hell. Many people would say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. i dont believe that, im not strong, in fact i see myself as weak. some days its such an effort to get up i dont even want to.
Do you want to know what the sad part is, i wish that i would one day fall asleep and never have to worry about waking up ever again, could you imagine that, never having to worry again, never have to wonder what the next bad thing is. i would find peace. When i sleep, all my troubles disappear, i get to create my own memories and people. i can create a funny scene in my head and laugh as if it actually happened. i'm not scared of whats around me, im free.
Some days i would sit on a bus and head to school and think about what it would be like if there was an accident and i was the only one who was injured. i always ask who would miss me. I have a dad who is over in the Isle of Wight with my baby sister and step-mum. He only calls when he needs something. He never calls me to say hello or ask how my school is. Do you wanna know what the worst part is, he couldn't care less about me and my other sister. He only wants to please my step-mum. He has forgotten that we were here first and that we love him to. I hate him but i love him. How sad is that, he has hurt me so many times over the years and yet i still love him, he abandoned me, let me down so many times i cant even count and just lives his life like we dont even exist. He still has the power to make me feel like a little girl who needs her dad. If i died, he would probably feel guilty that he didnt try, but then he will forget and live on like he never even had me. My mum would probably miss me, we have been working towards a good relationship and we have become apart of each others lives again. i know in my hearts that she will always miss me when i;m gone and i suppose thats comforting to know that she will miss me.
How sad it that though to think about what life would be like when your gone, i have tried so many times myself to leave this place and each time i have failed. i have just learnt to accept that it will happen when it happens. I have tried to be strong and be someone but there are always moments like this that i think i failed.
I dont want to get out of bed, I dont want to wake up. I get told to be strong,
Well im trying but sometimes the darkness wins
ashleigh
Where do i begin. Everyone has those days where they just want to stay in bed and never get up. It happens all the time, you start to feel down and you just dont want to move. You are content to stay in the position you are in because you are in a place where you dont want to leave.
Throughout my life i have had many ups and downs. Mainly downs, they brought me to a place where i felt like i shouldnt be here any more. like i didnt deserve to be on this earth. I was very troubled when i was in high school, i was very good at hiding everything. Only a few people actually knew the real me and what was going on.
I was angry at the world for everything that had happened to me. Very bad things happened when i was younger and i felt like i deserved it, like i had brought it on myself. i could have easily blamed my parents for what happened. some part of me felt that it was their fault, if they hadnt abandoned me and left me, maybe i wouldnt be here today writing this and would have never had to experience hell. Many people would say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. i dont believe that, im not strong, in fact i see myself as weak. some days its such an effort to get up i dont even want to.
Do you want to know what the sad part is, i wish that i would one day fall asleep and never have to worry about waking up ever again, could you imagine that, never having to worry again, never have to wonder what the next bad thing is. i would find peace. When i sleep, all my troubles disappear, i get to create my own memories and people. i can create a funny scene in my head and laugh as if it actually happened. i'm not scared of whats around me, im free.
Some days i would sit on a bus and head to school and think about what it would be like if there was an accident and i was the only one who was injured. i always ask who would miss me. I have a dad who is over in the Isle of Wight with my baby sister and step-mum. He only calls when he needs something. He never calls me to say hello or ask how my school is. Do you wanna know what the worst part is, he couldn't care less about me and my other sister. He only wants to please my step-mum. He has forgotten that we were here first and that we love him to. I hate him but i love him. How sad is that, he has hurt me so many times over the years and yet i still love him, he abandoned me, let me down so many times i cant even count and just lives his life like we dont even exist. He still has the power to make me feel like a little girl who needs her dad. If i died, he would probably feel guilty that he didnt try, but then he will forget and live on like he never even had me. My mum would probably miss me, we have been working towards a good relationship and we have become apart of each others lives again. i know in my hearts that she will always miss me when i;m gone and i suppose thats comforting to know that she will miss me.
How sad it that though to think about what life would be like when your gone, i have tried so many times myself to leave this place and each time i have failed. i have just learnt to accept that it will happen when it happens. I have tried to be strong and be someone but there are always moments like this that i think i failed.
I dont want to get out of bed, I dont want to wake up. I get told to be strong,
Well im trying but sometimes the darkness wins
ashleigh
HAVe you Got TWo Faces ?
Dear Bloggers/Readers
Okay this is going to be another rant on a different topic as this seems to come up all the time and i get asked so many questions about it. Us girls are a rare breed nowadays we are bitchy and well many people say we have two faces. we have one that is kind and listens to what you have to say and the other is always talking shit behind your back.
I'm not gonna lie i used to be like this when i was younger. i had loads of girlfriends who were just like me. Eager to fit in with everyone and bullshit about people we dont like and shit. We did things to make us stand out, talked about parties and what not trying to be cool and be noticed. everyones goals was to be popular, be in with the it crowd. (its funny because when i look back there wasnt really and it crowd and by the end of high school everyone knew of everybody anyway. i ended up knowing everyone and everyone knew me. so looking back i realise there wasnt really much of a point to all this crap. anyway..)But the thing was, i didnt like being that person that put people down behind their backs. Do you know how tiring it is to pretend to be something your not and to bitch about people you actually like is just wrong on so many levels. i'm guilty of that, i did what all the other girls did. i followed the crown like a little sheep. After a while i realised that i didnt want to do this any more. i couldnt care less if these girls didnt like me, and wanted to talk behind my back. i didnt give a flying fuck i was just tired of pretending.
So i separated from them, started to get close to my old friends again who stuck by me, i made new ones that made me laugh and accepted me for me. i was happy. i was no longer following the crowd.
i didnt need to bitch behind peoples backs, i realised that if i had a problem with someone i had to tell them to their face not to their backs.
what i soon realised is that girls dont take too kindly to people being brutally honest to their face. and thats just what i did. i didnt hold back if i had a problem, i laid it out all on the table so they knew what my problem was. Do you know how good it felt to actually confront the person than to chat shit about them behind their back. it was exhilarating.
so over the years thats what i did, it tried not to get involved with any of the gossip, sometimes i failed sometimes i succeeded. i stopped trying to fit in with the other groups. i was happy with my group of friends. they were the best always there for me when i needed them nd i was there for them. we ll had a true friendship and created memories that can never be forgotten.
i was asked quite a lot "why do i have more guy friends than girlfriends?" the simple answer is majority of the girls i knew were two faced and i couldn't deal with all that drama. the few girl friends i had were just like me, they couldnt care less about all the gossip and girl drama. it was why we got along so well. As for the guys well, thats easy they are guys. if they have a problem they confront each other, get it all out of their system and then BOOM everythings back to normal as it nothing just happened. i admire that about guys, they just forgive and forget. not all guys are like that but my guys were. Us girls, we tend to let what evers pissing us off fester until it grows and becomes something bigger than it is, if we are left alone to think about things we take things apart and put it together how we want to see it, its why we are difficult to deal with. many girls plan for the others downfall, make them hated and what have you and i find it petty. i mean what is with that. i can happily say i was never this bad, i wouldnt be able to do that to another person regardless.
anyway My guys were pretty damn amazing, they were funny and each had their own personality. if anyone reading this knows me, you know which guys im on about. they were always there making me smile. i have so many fond memories with them that ust writing this is making me smile. i surrounded myself with these boys because they didnt put up with peoples bullshit, if i had a problem with them we sorted it out and it was like we never had a problem in the first place. they weren't sheep following the crowd, they followed their footsteps and stood out of the crowd. Two of my guys i grew up with so our friendship has been strong for 12 years. i will never forget our friendship. even thought now we have all gone our separate ways me and my boys are still close and i am thankful for that.
So i think im done for now. i would like to hear what you think about this so dont hesitate to leave a comment and please share.
laters bloggers
ashleigh xo
Okay this is going to be another rant on a different topic as this seems to come up all the time and i get asked so many questions about it. Us girls are a rare breed nowadays we are bitchy and well many people say we have two faces. we have one that is kind and listens to what you have to say and the other is always talking shit behind your back.
I'm not gonna lie i used to be like this when i was younger. i had loads of girlfriends who were just like me. Eager to fit in with everyone and bullshit about people we dont like and shit. We did things to make us stand out, talked about parties and what not trying to be cool and be noticed. everyones goals was to be popular, be in with the it crowd. (its funny because when i look back there wasnt really and it crowd and by the end of high school everyone knew of everybody anyway. i ended up knowing everyone and everyone knew me. so looking back i realise there wasnt really much of a point to all this crap. anyway..)But the thing was, i didnt like being that person that put people down behind their backs. Do you know how tiring it is to pretend to be something your not and to bitch about people you actually like is just wrong on so many levels. i'm guilty of that, i did what all the other girls did. i followed the crown like a little sheep. After a while i realised that i didnt want to do this any more. i couldnt care less if these girls didnt like me, and wanted to talk behind my back. i didnt give a flying fuck i was just tired of pretending.
So i separated from them, started to get close to my old friends again who stuck by me, i made new ones that made me laugh and accepted me for me. i was happy. i was no longer following the crowd.
i didnt need to bitch behind peoples backs, i realised that if i had a problem with someone i had to tell them to their face not to their backs.
what i soon realised is that girls dont take too kindly to people being brutally honest to their face. and thats just what i did. i didnt hold back if i had a problem, i laid it out all on the table so they knew what my problem was. Do you know how good it felt to actually confront the person than to chat shit about them behind their back. it was exhilarating.
so over the years thats what i did, it tried not to get involved with any of the gossip, sometimes i failed sometimes i succeeded. i stopped trying to fit in with the other groups. i was happy with my group of friends. they were the best always there for me when i needed them nd i was there for them. we ll had a true friendship and created memories that can never be forgotten.
i was asked quite a lot "why do i have more guy friends than girlfriends?" the simple answer is majority of the girls i knew were two faced and i couldn't deal with all that drama. the few girl friends i had were just like me, they couldnt care less about all the gossip and girl drama. it was why we got along so well. As for the guys well, thats easy they are guys. if they have a problem they confront each other, get it all out of their system and then BOOM everythings back to normal as it nothing just happened. i admire that about guys, they just forgive and forget. not all guys are like that but my guys were. Us girls, we tend to let what evers pissing us off fester until it grows and becomes something bigger than it is, if we are left alone to think about things we take things apart and put it together how we want to see it, its why we are difficult to deal with. many girls plan for the others downfall, make them hated and what have you and i find it petty. i mean what is with that. i can happily say i was never this bad, i wouldnt be able to do that to another person regardless.
anyway My guys were pretty damn amazing, they were funny and each had their own personality. if anyone reading this knows me, you know which guys im on about. they were always there making me smile. i have so many fond memories with them that ust writing this is making me smile. i surrounded myself with these boys because they didnt put up with peoples bullshit, if i had a problem with them we sorted it out and it was like we never had a problem in the first place. they weren't sheep following the crowd, they followed their footsteps and stood out of the crowd. Two of my guys i grew up with so our friendship has been strong for 12 years. i will never forget our friendship. even thought now we have all gone our separate ways me and my boys are still close and i am thankful for that.
So i think im done for now. i would like to hear what you think about this so dont hesitate to leave a comment and please share.
laters bloggers
ashleigh xo
Sunday, 11 October 2015
People DESERVE more
Dear Bloggers/Readers
This blog is actually a rant about things i think people deserve. i have had this conversation with many of my friends and they agree. i want to write about it and see what you readers think. i would appreciate it if your shared and commented on this as i want to know how others feel.
where do i start...
okay first of all i will never understand why footballers and politicians earn more money than most people in certain job areas. it baffles me. i mean take footballers for example. yes they are good at what they do. but all they do is kick a ball down the field and provide entertainment for people all over the world. but do they deserve the money they get. i dont think so, there are many more people in different lines of work that deserve more money than they get. Politicians, why the fuck to they get paid so much money when all they do is create scandles for themselves, make false promises and never follow through with what they say. we all know that they lie just to make their way up the food chain but do they really deserve the money they make. im not discrediting some politicians, some actually try hard but they still dont deserve to be paid what they do.
People who actually deserve the money seem to be taken for granted. i mean what about Fire Fighters, Doctors, Nurses, Soldiers, Carers etc. i could go on. they deserve more money. they are out there everyday helping people and saving lives. People choose to do these jobs to help others but what happens when people decide that helping people is no longer enough. how can they help people when they cant help themselves. how can they support themselves. People choose to do these jobs because they want to make a difference. the should be awarded for it. they should be paid for the work they try so hard to do. THEY DESERVE IT.
Fire Fighters, they go and put out fires that claim so many lives, they walk into burning buildings to save people, and bring them back to loved ones. they help make sure no one else will get hurt. the put out those fires that are started. Did you know that some Fire Fighters die young due to the fact they have inhaled too much smoke over the years of service. they risk their lives each time there is a fire. they put others lives before theres. THEY DESERVE A RAISE. instead they get pain on average £28,766 a year. That is pitiful.
Doctors, Nurses, they work hard on treating people making sure everyone gets better. they help in any way they can to improve peoples health. Doctors they save lives, they do heart surgeries to keep people alive. they take a chance on people, they do what they can and sometimes their best is not good enough, they have to live with the fact that they failed someone, because they couldnt save them. yet they still do their job because the lives they have saved out ways the lives they have lost. they dedicate their lives to making people better. THEY DESERVE BETTER. it varies on salary for different types of doctors but the highest salary for doctors overall is £76,461. i still think they deserve more.
Soldiers, they go out and fight for us, they fight for people they dont know. they are fighting a battle that is not theirs to fight yet they do it because they know we need defending. they risk their lives every fucking day and yet they are sometimes forgotten. they see things that no one wishes to see. the experience the worst things in life and dont complain. they loose the people they have become close to. they have to bury their friends when accidents happen. soldiers come back, and, they suffer from PTSD and other things, some have to have amputations due to accidents that happen. they fight through it because they are survivors. who helps them when they get back. yes there are charities that help with rehabilitation but thats short-term. who is there in the long run. i have heard so many sotries about soldiers who struggle to find work and find a place to live. its disgusting, these people have thought for us and they dont get nothing. The average salary for a soldier is £31,000 and that is after some years of service to reach the rank of Sargent. new recruits earn at least half of this. like i said SOLDIERS DESERVE MORE.
Footballers, all they do is run a football down they field and provide entertainment for the world. thats the only thing the bring to the world. and what do they get paid? the average salary for a football player has gone up and they are now being paid about £2.3 million a year. What the actual fuck.
there is seriously something wrong here.
IM DONE FOR NOW
please comment and share. want to know what people think on this subject.
Ashleigh xo
This blog is actually a rant about things i think people deserve. i have had this conversation with many of my friends and they agree. i want to write about it and see what you readers think. i would appreciate it if your shared and commented on this as i want to know how others feel.
where do i start...
okay first of all i will never understand why footballers and politicians earn more money than most people in certain job areas. it baffles me. i mean take footballers for example. yes they are good at what they do. but all they do is kick a ball down the field and provide entertainment for people all over the world. but do they deserve the money they get. i dont think so, there are many more people in different lines of work that deserve more money than they get. Politicians, why the fuck to they get paid so much money when all they do is create scandles for themselves, make false promises and never follow through with what they say. we all know that they lie just to make their way up the food chain but do they really deserve the money they make. im not discrediting some politicians, some actually try hard but they still dont deserve to be paid what they do.
People who actually deserve the money seem to be taken for granted. i mean what about Fire Fighters, Doctors, Nurses, Soldiers, Carers etc. i could go on. they deserve more money. they are out there everyday helping people and saving lives. People choose to do these jobs to help others but what happens when people decide that helping people is no longer enough. how can they help people when they cant help themselves. how can they support themselves. People choose to do these jobs because they want to make a difference. the should be awarded for it. they should be paid for the work they try so hard to do. THEY DESERVE IT.
Fire Fighters, they go and put out fires that claim so many lives, they walk into burning buildings to save people, and bring them back to loved ones. they help make sure no one else will get hurt. the put out those fires that are started. Did you know that some Fire Fighters die young due to the fact they have inhaled too much smoke over the years of service. they risk their lives each time there is a fire. they put others lives before theres. THEY DESERVE A RAISE. instead they get pain on average £28,766 a year. That is pitiful.
Doctors, Nurses, they work hard on treating people making sure everyone gets better. they help in any way they can to improve peoples health. Doctors they save lives, they do heart surgeries to keep people alive. they take a chance on people, they do what they can and sometimes their best is not good enough, they have to live with the fact that they failed someone, because they couldnt save them. yet they still do their job because the lives they have saved out ways the lives they have lost. they dedicate their lives to making people better. THEY DESERVE BETTER. it varies on salary for different types of doctors but the highest salary for doctors overall is £76,461. i still think they deserve more.
Soldiers, they go out and fight for us, they fight for people they dont know. they are fighting a battle that is not theirs to fight yet they do it because they know we need defending. they risk their lives every fucking day and yet they are sometimes forgotten. they see things that no one wishes to see. the experience the worst things in life and dont complain. they loose the people they have become close to. they have to bury their friends when accidents happen. soldiers come back, and, they suffer from PTSD and other things, some have to have amputations due to accidents that happen. they fight through it because they are survivors. who helps them when they get back. yes there are charities that help with rehabilitation but thats short-term. who is there in the long run. i have heard so many sotries about soldiers who struggle to find work and find a place to live. its disgusting, these people have thought for us and they dont get nothing. The average salary for a soldier is £31,000 and that is after some years of service to reach the rank of Sargent. new recruits earn at least half of this. like i said SOLDIERS DESERVE MORE.
Footballers, all they do is run a football down they field and provide entertainment for the world. thats the only thing the bring to the world. and what do they get paid? the average salary for a football player has gone up and they are now being paid about £2.3 million a year. What the actual fuck.
there is seriously something wrong here.
IM DONE FOR NOW
please comment and share. want to know what people think on this subject.
Ashleigh xo
Saturday, 10 October 2015
One Night Stands...
Dear Bloggers/Reader,
Have you noticed a little theme here?
I'm not gonna lie talking about Sex and Equality has really gotten to me. There are so many things that go on within our lives that evolved around these two things and well i want to explore that.
One thing that comes up quite a bit is One Night Stands.
I'm not going to lie i have had 2 nights myself. i'm not ashamed of it. its the truth. What i dont seem to understand is why people judge others. Mostly females.
A man gets to go out and have many one night stands and not feel guilty about it. they can even go as far as sleeping with two girls in one night, they go out and enjoy themselves without any problems. However when a girl goes out and ends up having a one night stand, it becomes an issue. Its like everything has gone wrong with the world. When i hear what people have to say, sometimes i just want to punch them in the face. i mean seriously what is with people.
There is nothing wrong with a girl going out and enjoying herself. so what if she gets picked up in a bar or club and goes back with the guy. if shes guilty isnt the guy shes with too. does it really matter how many guys a girl sleeps with? does it affect you in any way who she sleeps with?
Do you wanna know what i think? i think the reason why people judge is because they are JEALOUS. they are jealous because girls and guys are going out and doing what they havent got the balls to do. they are upset because they are going out and having fun. those people, they have the confidence to go home with a stranger and enjoy the pleasure of sex.
its okay if you dont like the idea of one nights stands it doesnt mean other people have to agree with you. everyone is entitled to their own opinion, its their life so it doesnt affect you.
i'm not gonna say its just women that get judged, men do too. its just less common. mostly girls judge the guys, they think that if a guy is going out and having sex, they are called a player. thats not always the case. maybe the guy just wants to have fun and enjoy the pleasures of a females company, theres nothing wrong with it. in some cases men even fall for the girl they end up sleeping with, not all the time but it does happen. people form an attachment to the people they sleep with.
Many people think that having sex should be something special and that it should only happen when you have feelings for another person, i beg to differ. if your attracted to the person doesnt that mean you have feelings towards them in some way, it doesnt mean you love them or anything it just means you appreciate what they have to offer. theres nothing wrong with that.
Yes having sex is a special thing, it makes you feel good and what not but it doenst mean that by having sex you have to fall madly in love with the person. One night stands is a way for people to release themselves, no matter what comes of it.
heres a few pros and cons...
Perks of a one night stand:
1. you can experiment with the person. try what you want. theres no worry on seeing them again if it goes wrong, theres no need to feel embarrassed because they dont know you. they dont know what you like so you can tell them.
2. you can be who you want to be, you can pretend to be someone else.
3. you get to enjoy great sex with no strings.
4. ego boost, the fact that someone wants to get between the sheets with you can make you feel powerful. its an intoxicating feeling
Cons of a one night stand:
1. STD or STI, this is pretty common, you dont know who you are sleeping with, you dont know what diseases they have. so make sure you wrap it or you can find yourself in a situation you didnt want to be in.
2. grow attached. this can happen, you ust spent the night having amazing sex and instantly find your self attached, it happens to both guys and girls. this can complicate things as the other person might not reciprocate and that just brings a whole load of drama.
3. Pregnancy, there is always a chance condoms are only 99% effective
4. there is always a chance you could see the person again. Talk about Awkward........
anyway. i think im done for now on this issue. if you have any comments please dont hesitate to leave them..
laters readers
ashleigh xo
Have you noticed a little theme here?
I'm not gonna lie talking about Sex and Equality has really gotten to me. There are so many things that go on within our lives that evolved around these two things and well i want to explore that.
One thing that comes up quite a bit is One Night Stands.
I'm not going to lie i have had 2 nights myself. i'm not ashamed of it. its the truth. What i dont seem to understand is why people judge others. Mostly females.
A man gets to go out and have many one night stands and not feel guilty about it. they can even go as far as sleeping with two girls in one night, they go out and enjoy themselves without any problems. However when a girl goes out and ends up having a one night stand, it becomes an issue. Its like everything has gone wrong with the world. When i hear what people have to say, sometimes i just want to punch them in the face. i mean seriously what is with people.
There is nothing wrong with a girl going out and enjoying herself. so what if she gets picked up in a bar or club and goes back with the guy. if shes guilty isnt the guy shes with too. does it really matter how many guys a girl sleeps with? does it affect you in any way who she sleeps with?
Do you wanna know what i think? i think the reason why people judge is because they are JEALOUS. they are jealous because girls and guys are going out and doing what they havent got the balls to do. they are upset because they are going out and having fun. those people, they have the confidence to go home with a stranger and enjoy the pleasure of sex.
its okay if you dont like the idea of one nights stands it doesnt mean other people have to agree with you. everyone is entitled to their own opinion, its their life so it doesnt affect you.
i'm not gonna say its just women that get judged, men do too. its just less common. mostly girls judge the guys, they think that if a guy is going out and having sex, they are called a player. thats not always the case. maybe the guy just wants to have fun and enjoy the pleasures of a females company, theres nothing wrong with it. in some cases men even fall for the girl they end up sleeping with, not all the time but it does happen. people form an attachment to the people they sleep with.
Many people think that having sex should be something special and that it should only happen when you have feelings for another person, i beg to differ. if your attracted to the person doesnt that mean you have feelings towards them in some way, it doesnt mean you love them or anything it just means you appreciate what they have to offer. theres nothing wrong with that.
Yes having sex is a special thing, it makes you feel good and what not but it doenst mean that by having sex you have to fall madly in love with the person. One night stands is a way for people to release themselves, no matter what comes of it.
heres a few pros and cons...
Perks of a one night stand:
1. you can experiment with the person. try what you want. theres no worry on seeing them again if it goes wrong, theres no need to feel embarrassed because they dont know you. they dont know what you like so you can tell them.
2. you can be who you want to be, you can pretend to be someone else.
3. you get to enjoy great sex with no strings.
4. ego boost, the fact that someone wants to get between the sheets with you can make you feel powerful. its an intoxicating feeling
Cons of a one night stand:
1. STD or STI, this is pretty common, you dont know who you are sleeping with, you dont know what diseases they have. so make sure you wrap it or you can find yourself in a situation you didnt want to be in.
2. grow attached. this can happen, you ust spent the night having amazing sex and instantly find your self attached, it happens to both guys and girls. this can complicate things as the other person might not reciprocate and that just brings a whole load of drama.
3. Pregnancy, there is always a chance condoms are only 99% effective
4. there is always a chance you could see the person again. Talk about Awkward........
anyway. i think im done for now on this issue. if you have any comments please dont hesitate to leave them..
laters readers
ashleigh xo
BE BOLD
Dear Bloggers/Readers
Ive been trying to figure out what to write next and what to talk about. if im honest yesterday's post scared me. i was sharing a part of me to everyone and i was scared what the reaction would be. i didnt want the people i know to judge me as they didnt know thats what happened in my life. it wasnt like i was hiding it from them it just never came up.
Sharing a piece of me yesterday made me feel better knowing that people were going to read it and maybe understand better what it means to be a self-harmer. i didnt mean to make any one uncomfortable and i apologise to those i did but if im honest it felt good. i dont know what i was so scared about. people say that when you talk about something you end up feeling a lot better because you got it out your system. i have to agree. now that its out there i feel better im glad i did it.
realising this i dont want to hold back in fear of what people might say. i have had a difficult life and yeah somethings i am not ready to share but other stuff im happy to do it because i know it will make me feel better.
i want to be bold and not have anyone hold me back and that is exactly what i am going to do.
the reason for writing this post was not only to share my feelings about my post but i wanted to talk about being Bold.
many people hold back in what they want to say because most of the time they are afriad of being judged, they are afriad that maybe when they speak out people arn't going to like what they have to say. i can agree with that. sometimes you might want to say something but realise that if you do it might be inappropriate or might come across as offensive. everyone is entitled to their opinion and shouldnt be afraid to say what they want. we are all human and we want to be heard.
For all those people out there who hold back what they want to say, dont. free your words because thats all they are words. they are powerful and can be life changing. words have the power to hurt people but they also have the power to make people feel free and happy. dont hold back for anyone.
there are always two sides to the coin and you never know which way it will land but you shouldnt be afraid anymore because life is too short to keep your words to yourself.
if your one of those people who judge people on what they say, then maybe you should in the mirror and see what type of person you are. you get to speak your mind and use your words, why cant other people?
we are all equals and everyone preaches this, how comes no one believes in it?
anyway i think i am done with this little speech and what have you.
if you have something to say, use your words and leave me a comment.
by readers
ashleigh xo
Ive been trying to figure out what to write next and what to talk about. if im honest yesterday's post scared me. i was sharing a part of me to everyone and i was scared what the reaction would be. i didnt want the people i know to judge me as they didnt know thats what happened in my life. it wasnt like i was hiding it from them it just never came up.
Sharing a piece of me yesterday made me feel better knowing that people were going to read it and maybe understand better what it means to be a self-harmer. i didnt mean to make any one uncomfortable and i apologise to those i did but if im honest it felt good. i dont know what i was so scared about. people say that when you talk about something you end up feeling a lot better because you got it out your system. i have to agree. now that its out there i feel better im glad i did it.
realising this i dont want to hold back in fear of what people might say. i have had a difficult life and yeah somethings i am not ready to share but other stuff im happy to do it because i know it will make me feel better.
i want to be bold and not have anyone hold me back and that is exactly what i am going to do.
the reason for writing this post was not only to share my feelings about my post but i wanted to talk about being Bold.
many people hold back in what they want to say because most of the time they are afriad of being judged, they are afriad that maybe when they speak out people arn't going to like what they have to say. i can agree with that. sometimes you might want to say something but realise that if you do it might be inappropriate or might come across as offensive. everyone is entitled to their opinion and shouldnt be afraid to say what they want. we are all human and we want to be heard.
For all those people out there who hold back what they want to say, dont. free your words because thats all they are words. they are powerful and can be life changing. words have the power to hurt people but they also have the power to make people feel free and happy. dont hold back for anyone.
there are always two sides to the coin and you never know which way it will land but you shouldnt be afraid anymore because life is too short to keep your words to yourself.
if your one of those people who judge people on what they say, then maybe you should in the mirror and see what type of person you are. you get to speak your mind and use your words, why cant other people?
we are all equals and everyone preaches this, how comes no one believes in it?
anyway i think i am done with this little speech and what have you.
if you have something to say, use your words and leave me a comment.
by readers
ashleigh xo
Friday, 9 October 2015
Self-Harm
Dear Bloggers/Readers,
For this Blog i want to talk about self-harming.This is a personal topic that i would like to share with people so that can make people understand and see what its really about.
This is not a topic i talk about lightly but sometimes i think it needs to be said and sometimes it needs to be talked about. but i think that if people are more aware, you can help those who are self-harming
Self-Harming is something that many individuals turn to when they are in times of need. i know this because i was a self harmer myself. Many people think that its for attention and that people want everyone to notice them and blah blah blah and all that crap but i want to set things straight.
Self-harming is like a drug, its addictive and hard to stop. everyone has their own opinion on why they self-harm and how it makes them feel. but i thought i would clear a few things up for those who question and make fun of those who have or are self-harming.
When i was younger, i started ti self-harm. i was 11 years old when i first harmed myself. it wasnt intentional it just happened but when it did. boy did it feel good. all the pain i had been feeling before seem to just disappear, all i had to focus on was the pain of the now. i didnt have to focus on what was going on around me or the way i was feeling. i just felt numb, i didnt feel a thing. and thats exactly what i wanted, i wanted to be free from everything that was bringing me down and tearing me apart. the sting, then the pain and the constant ache was something i welcomed. the skin was tender and raw but it felt good and for once i felt free.
i felt like i didnt belong and that i deserved everything that i got. harming myself took all the pressure away. i didnt see it as punishing myself, i saw it as setting myself free. At first when i started harming it was few and far between. the pain i felt was raw and lasted for about a week. however over time i felt like it wasnt enough, i needed more, needed more pain to distract myself. i liked how it made me feel.
this went on for a long time, my dad started to notice the blood on my shirts and finally saw the marks i had created. lets just say he wasnt too happy, he told me stop, telling me how unattractive it is to be covered in scars and all that. But he didnt understand. it wasnt as simply as stopping right then and there. i had been relying on this release for a long time and i couldnt let that power i had created go.
he soon forgot about it and left me alone, what he didnt know was i had become very careful around him making sure there was nothing he could see or question. it wasnt too hard considering he was never really a round so i was left to my own devices. A few weeks later i found out that my friend was self-harming too.
i felt sick, i was so angry at her for doing this, i wished she could have talked to me relied on me. not hurting herself. Then i realised i was being a hypocrite. who was i to say anything. i was doing the same thing and i didnt tell her. i'd been holding back from her the same way she was holding back from me.i decided to keep my dirty little secret because thats what it was, it was privet, i didnt want people to judge. but thats what i did to my best friend i judged because i didnt realise that she would ever be in pain or do what i had done. i knew what a bueden it was and i didnt like that she was suffereing. i didnt want my best friend to suffer so i decided to take away her burden the best way i knew how.. We ended up having a long talk and she told me everything and vise versa. so when we had finished talking i told her that for every cut she made do i would do double, i told her she is stronger than this and i will share her pain.
She has only been harming for a few weeks but even then i still new how addicting it could be.
so everyday at school when i saw her, i would take her hand and lead her to the bathroom and take us into a cubicle. she couldnt hide from me. i would pull up the sleeves and count what she had done and then add to my collection, she would watch while added the marks.as sick as it sounds it helped. although i enjoyed the pain i was giving myself, i didnt enjoy watching my friend in pain. i couldnt handle that, she was the strong one out of us two.
this continued for a while however each time there seemed to be less cuts each time. whatever we were doing was working for her. and finally it stopped. there was no more. i still kept checking for a while to make sure but she had stopped.
i continued sellf-harming. yes i am a hypocrite. but what i learned from that experience with myself was that she leaned on me for support. she trusted me to help her. she made me happy and she took away the pain because i was surrounded by her and people who made me smile. soon i found myself slowing down on the scars. it was like i didnt want to any more. i wanted to be strong.
i did end up stopping from harming myself. it took time but i did it. at first it was hard when i had stopped as there were times when i felt like i had no control and that i needed it, i needed it so much that i hoped when the pain came it would the last thing i ever felt. i was depressed and that didnt help. but i remained strong most of the time. there were alway some help less moments but i managed. sometimes i would just look at the scars and think of how ugly they were and how in the summer everyone would see. that terrified me. i didnt want anyone to see what i had done. luckily that was my motivation. i didnt want any one to know how weak i was. so when i needed that release i picked up a book and started to read or i called my friends so they could cheer me up. i distracted myself. i got better.
as the years went by i started to realise i shouldnt have been ashamed of my weakness. everyone has scars whether they be on the outside or inside. everone is beautiful. i stopped thinking about how ugly the scars were becuase then my scars showed i was strong, i came back from something that can damage you and i made myself okay. yes i have moments of depression but never so deep that i can be dragged back to the darkness.
here i am now proud to be self-harm free. it was an emotional experience for me one that i will never forget. it has made me stronger and made me realise how worthy i am. i dont need approval from people to be who i want. i can be myself, i wont let people get me down because this is my life now and i get to make my own choices.
i hope as you have read this, people have a better understanding. im sorry if it went into too much detail but i felt that the whole story should be told.
please share by clicking the google+ button and if you have any questions i wont hesitate to answer them.
thank you
anyway laters Bloggers
ashleigh xo
For this Blog i want to talk about self-harming.This is a personal topic that i would like to share with people so that can make people understand and see what its really about.
This is not a topic i talk about lightly but sometimes i think it needs to be said and sometimes it needs to be talked about. but i think that if people are more aware, you can help those who are self-harming
Self-Harming is something that many individuals turn to when they are in times of need. i know this because i was a self harmer myself. Many people think that its for attention and that people want everyone to notice them and blah blah blah and all that crap but i want to set things straight.
Self-harming is like a drug, its addictive and hard to stop. everyone has their own opinion on why they self-harm and how it makes them feel. but i thought i would clear a few things up for those who question and make fun of those who have or are self-harming.
When i was younger, i started ti self-harm. i was 11 years old when i first harmed myself. it wasnt intentional it just happened but when it did. boy did it feel good. all the pain i had been feeling before seem to just disappear, all i had to focus on was the pain of the now. i didnt have to focus on what was going on around me or the way i was feeling. i just felt numb, i didnt feel a thing. and thats exactly what i wanted, i wanted to be free from everything that was bringing me down and tearing me apart. the sting, then the pain and the constant ache was something i welcomed. the skin was tender and raw but it felt good and for once i felt free.
i felt like i didnt belong and that i deserved everything that i got. harming myself took all the pressure away. i didnt see it as punishing myself, i saw it as setting myself free. At first when i started harming it was few and far between. the pain i felt was raw and lasted for about a week. however over time i felt like it wasnt enough, i needed more, needed more pain to distract myself. i liked how it made me feel.
this went on for a long time, my dad started to notice the blood on my shirts and finally saw the marks i had created. lets just say he wasnt too happy, he told me stop, telling me how unattractive it is to be covered in scars and all that. But he didnt understand. it wasnt as simply as stopping right then and there. i had been relying on this release for a long time and i couldnt let that power i had created go.
he soon forgot about it and left me alone, what he didnt know was i had become very careful around him making sure there was nothing he could see or question. it wasnt too hard considering he was never really a round so i was left to my own devices. A few weeks later i found out that my friend was self-harming too.
i felt sick, i was so angry at her for doing this, i wished she could have talked to me relied on me. not hurting herself. Then i realised i was being a hypocrite. who was i to say anything. i was doing the same thing and i didnt tell her. i'd been holding back from her the same way she was holding back from me.i decided to keep my dirty little secret because thats what it was, it was privet, i didnt want people to judge. but thats what i did to my best friend i judged because i didnt realise that she would ever be in pain or do what i had done. i knew what a bueden it was and i didnt like that she was suffereing. i didnt want my best friend to suffer so i decided to take away her burden the best way i knew how.. We ended up having a long talk and she told me everything and vise versa. so when we had finished talking i told her that for every cut she made do i would do double, i told her she is stronger than this and i will share her pain.
She has only been harming for a few weeks but even then i still new how addicting it could be.
so everyday at school when i saw her, i would take her hand and lead her to the bathroom and take us into a cubicle. she couldnt hide from me. i would pull up the sleeves and count what she had done and then add to my collection, she would watch while added the marks.as sick as it sounds it helped. although i enjoyed the pain i was giving myself, i didnt enjoy watching my friend in pain. i couldnt handle that, she was the strong one out of us two.
this continued for a while however each time there seemed to be less cuts each time. whatever we were doing was working for her. and finally it stopped. there was no more. i still kept checking for a while to make sure but she had stopped.
i continued sellf-harming. yes i am a hypocrite. but what i learned from that experience with myself was that she leaned on me for support. she trusted me to help her. she made me happy and she took away the pain because i was surrounded by her and people who made me smile. soon i found myself slowing down on the scars. it was like i didnt want to any more. i wanted to be strong.
i did end up stopping from harming myself. it took time but i did it. at first it was hard when i had stopped as there were times when i felt like i had no control and that i needed it, i needed it so much that i hoped when the pain came it would the last thing i ever felt. i was depressed and that didnt help. but i remained strong most of the time. there were alway some help less moments but i managed. sometimes i would just look at the scars and think of how ugly they were and how in the summer everyone would see. that terrified me. i didnt want anyone to see what i had done. luckily that was my motivation. i didnt want any one to know how weak i was. so when i needed that release i picked up a book and started to read or i called my friends so they could cheer me up. i distracted myself. i got better.
as the years went by i started to realise i shouldnt have been ashamed of my weakness. everyone has scars whether they be on the outside or inside. everone is beautiful. i stopped thinking about how ugly the scars were becuase then my scars showed i was strong, i came back from something that can damage you and i made myself okay. yes i have moments of depression but never so deep that i can be dragged back to the darkness.
here i am now proud to be self-harm free. it was an emotional experience for me one that i will never forget. it has made me stronger and made me realise how worthy i am. i dont need approval from people to be who i want. i can be myself, i wont let people get me down because this is my life now and i get to make my own choices.
i hope as you have read this, people have a better understanding. im sorry if it went into too much detail but i felt that the whole story should be told.
please share by clicking the google+ button and if you have any questions i wont hesitate to answer them.
thank you
anyway laters Bloggers
ashleigh xo
Thursday, 8 October 2015
SEX and EQUALITY
Dear Blogger/Readers
Okay in my previous post called Women Talk, i spoke about our fantasies in the bedroom but then i thought of something else i had read in another book and thought why not talk about this too.
this blog is more of a rant and the dynamic presented in most books.
i have read countless books based on romance and teenage comedy and how young couples find love and what have you. however the main thing that seems to run through the books is that the girl in them always seems to be a virgin while the guy they are interested in are not.
i mean what is with that, i get the bad boy and that always has a reputation and that they sleep with anything that walks but to me i sometimes find it degrading to guys. i mean sure all young guys like to get around and that but its not like that for every guy. its like the books are just following the sterotype of a bad boy. i think some authors even have a checklist for their characters. i mean every bad boy must have
1. Tattoos, (okay fair enough i dont mind a guy with tattoos, but does it really make them a bad boy? i have tattoos, quite a lot actually does that make me a bad girl? i dont think so)
2. Must be adonis like good looking (newsflash not everyone is as gorgeous as Ian somerhalder, and not everyone goes for looks because majority of the time those who are good looking can be vain and have a shit personality. who wants that.)
3. Must be dark and mysterious and have a dangerous vibe ( i can tottally understand this one, i mean whos not attracted to danger once and a while but wy does every damn school have to have one like it, i know i didnt have a bad boy dangerous guy in school.)
4. Must have had sex with majority of girls in school ( i'm not one to judge at all but come on, is every girl so desperate to get a piece of this guy. i couldnt do that knowing id basically be sleeping with all the other girls in school too and not to mention what guy would want to be known for getting around like that knowing theres a possibility of pregnancy or some jealous girl who thought she was the one get pissed and say he raped her. i mean it could happen. it has happened)
so those are the main points for the bad boy in the books, they sleep around. great. good for them.
but what about the main girl of the book? why does she have to be a virgin why does she always have to fall for the popular boy? cant she of had sex with her share of guys or something.
not all girls are innocent, plenty of girls have sex with people while they are in high school so why hasnt this girl, fair enough some people want to wait until marriage and they commit to it but why the main girl, because in every book the girl gives it up to the bad boy anyway.
i think i get so annoyed is because majority of the time the author makes the girl out to be self concious of herself and when she finally does get with the guy she has to think about all the people he's been with and she feels hurt when they come back in to his life and what have you. not to mention the girl always questions why he's with her because he is so god damn good looking. for once why cant the girl have a little action and give the guy something to think about for a change, i mean they dont have to think about all the guys that she has been with because she hasnt so he hasnt got a clue what she is feeling.
Another thing that pisses me off. every book has a resident slut. fair enough a girl who goes out and sleeps with every guy she sees and some girls boyfriends. i can see how she got the name. however if a girl is just out having a good time with people why is it so wrong. we all fight for equality when it comes to the sexes however soon as a girls sleeps around because she wants to she is labelled a hoe or whore or slut. i mean seriously. some guys do why worse and all they get called is a player and get congratulated by their friends.
how is that fair, everyone wants to stop all the sterotypical bullshit and all the bullying that goes on in schools and colleges but then everyone reads the same books and just keeps reminding everyone about sterotypes. if someone wrote a book, and it had a storyline where the girl is not a virgin and the guy sleeps around then fair enough but for once i want to see the guy feel something and make them see what the girl is feeling.
i want to see people write about how its okay for girls to be sexual beings that its okay to explore and go out and have fun. we have the same right as men do so why should we be shamed for our actions, why should we be called names looked down upon for an act that everyone participates in.
there are more things wrong in the world than a girl going out and having sex!
okay im done thats the end of my rant, if any of you agree please share and comment.
laters Bloggers
Ashleigh xo
Okay in my previous post called Women Talk, i spoke about our fantasies in the bedroom but then i thought of something else i had read in another book and thought why not talk about this too.
this blog is more of a rant and the dynamic presented in most books.
i have read countless books based on romance and teenage comedy and how young couples find love and what have you. however the main thing that seems to run through the books is that the girl in them always seems to be a virgin while the guy they are interested in are not.
i mean what is with that, i get the bad boy and that always has a reputation and that they sleep with anything that walks but to me i sometimes find it degrading to guys. i mean sure all young guys like to get around and that but its not like that for every guy. its like the books are just following the sterotype of a bad boy. i think some authors even have a checklist for their characters. i mean every bad boy must have
1. Tattoos, (okay fair enough i dont mind a guy with tattoos, but does it really make them a bad boy? i have tattoos, quite a lot actually does that make me a bad girl? i dont think so)
2. Must be adonis like good looking (newsflash not everyone is as gorgeous as Ian somerhalder, and not everyone goes for looks because majority of the time those who are good looking can be vain and have a shit personality. who wants that.)
3. Must be dark and mysterious and have a dangerous vibe ( i can tottally understand this one, i mean whos not attracted to danger once and a while but wy does every damn school have to have one like it, i know i didnt have a bad boy dangerous guy in school.)
4. Must have had sex with majority of girls in school ( i'm not one to judge at all but come on, is every girl so desperate to get a piece of this guy. i couldnt do that knowing id basically be sleeping with all the other girls in school too and not to mention what guy would want to be known for getting around like that knowing theres a possibility of pregnancy or some jealous girl who thought she was the one get pissed and say he raped her. i mean it could happen. it has happened)
so those are the main points for the bad boy in the books, they sleep around. great. good for them.
but what about the main girl of the book? why does she have to be a virgin why does she always have to fall for the popular boy? cant she of had sex with her share of guys or something.
not all girls are innocent, plenty of girls have sex with people while they are in high school so why hasnt this girl, fair enough some people want to wait until marriage and they commit to it but why the main girl, because in every book the girl gives it up to the bad boy anyway.
i think i get so annoyed is because majority of the time the author makes the girl out to be self concious of herself and when she finally does get with the guy she has to think about all the people he's been with and she feels hurt when they come back in to his life and what have you. not to mention the girl always questions why he's with her because he is so god damn good looking. for once why cant the girl have a little action and give the guy something to think about for a change, i mean they dont have to think about all the guys that she has been with because she hasnt so he hasnt got a clue what she is feeling.
Another thing that pisses me off. every book has a resident slut. fair enough a girl who goes out and sleeps with every guy she sees and some girls boyfriends. i can see how she got the name. however if a girl is just out having a good time with people why is it so wrong. we all fight for equality when it comes to the sexes however soon as a girls sleeps around because she wants to she is labelled a hoe or whore or slut. i mean seriously. some guys do why worse and all they get called is a player and get congratulated by their friends.
how is that fair, everyone wants to stop all the sterotypical bullshit and all the bullying that goes on in schools and colleges but then everyone reads the same books and just keeps reminding everyone about sterotypes. if someone wrote a book, and it had a storyline where the girl is not a virgin and the guy sleeps around then fair enough but for once i want to see the guy feel something and make them see what the girl is feeling.
i want to see people write about how its okay for girls to be sexual beings that its okay to explore and go out and have fun. we have the same right as men do so why should we be shamed for our actions, why should we be called names looked down upon for an act that everyone participates in.
there are more things wrong in the world than a girl going out and having sex!
okay im done thats the end of my rant, if any of you agree please share and comment.
laters Bloggers
Ashleigh xo
Women Talk
Dear Bloggers/Readers,
Okay this post is going to be a bit out there, there reason being is i think it needs to be said.
i finished reading another book last night (shocker lol) and it got me thinking. Us women are difficult to figure out and sometimes we dont understand what we want ourselves but hey thats not our fault it comes with our make up lol.
Anyway the book i was reading had a lot of sex scenes and what have you and it got me thinking about what she wrote. she talked about how every woman has different fantasies when it comes the bedroom and i have to agree. she talking about how some women dont feel comfortable with sharing what they want to do and what they dream about.
i can whole heartedly agree with what she said, its true, as a women i feel the same i mean yeah of course i have had fantasies about what goes on in the bedroom and the desire to explore appeals to me however i do feel concious about it sometimes but i dont feel the need to hold back on what i want to do.
what i do disagree with within her book is that men are more open about their sexuality. i mean yeah some men are cocky and confident about what they want within the bedroom but not all men are like that. some men are just as shy as us women. i mean ever one is going to have a different reaction to what you want and sometimes other might not agree with want you want. i mean that would be uncomfortable for anyone, like for example if the women in the relationship was curious and wanted to have a threesome with another man or women her partner might not be comfortable with that and start to think that maybe she dreams about being with another man and what not and then it leads to complications however some men might be like hell yeah and be so into it. you never know which way it could go.
what i find funny is that many women share the same fantasies, some wish to be dominated and controlled, they want their partner to own them and not hold back i mean even i could agree that that is pretty damn hot. being under the mercy of someone who wants to own you i mean hot damn. (feeling a bit flustered)
another typical fantasy, roll play,where you can dress up and be someone else. like the typical naughty nurse or the stripper. if i had a guy in front of me ina uniform i dont think i could keep my tongue in my mouth. well i say that but i would want to see the guy really fill out the uniform, you know the whole big muscles and washboard abs and the strong thighs, (drooling)
i mean im not opposed to dressing up to spice it up if you know what i mean. but damn guys can pull it off way better, however im probably bias as i know how to appreciate a good looking man but i do have to say some girls are right up there with the men i mean we do have great curves (winkwink)
any way i think i am done thinking about this topic although i am curious to think what you readers feel on the subject. leave comments and let me know.
laters Bloggers
Ashleigh xo
ps. im pretty partial to the fire fighter stripper if i say so myself
Okay this post is going to be a bit out there, there reason being is i think it needs to be said.
i finished reading another book last night (shocker lol) and it got me thinking. Us women are difficult to figure out and sometimes we dont understand what we want ourselves but hey thats not our fault it comes with our make up lol.
Anyway the book i was reading had a lot of sex scenes and what have you and it got me thinking about what she wrote. she talked about how every woman has different fantasies when it comes the bedroom and i have to agree. she talking about how some women dont feel comfortable with sharing what they want to do and what they dream about.
i can whole heartedly agree with what she said, its true, as a women i feel the same i mean yeah of course i have had fantasies about what goes on in the bedroom and the desire to explore appeals to me however i do feel concious about it sometimes but i dont feel the need to hold back on what i want to do.
what i do disagree with within her book is that men are more open about their sexuality. i mean yeah some men are cocky and confident about what they want within the bedroom but not all men are like that. some men are just as shy as us women. i mean ever one is going to have a different reaction to what you want and sometimes other might not agree with want you want. i mean that would be uncomfortable for anyone, like for example if the women in the relationship was curious and wanted to have a threesome with another man or women her partner might not be comfortable with that and start to think that maybe she dreams about being with another man and what not and then it leads to complications however some men might be like hell yeah and be so into it. you never know which way it could go.
what i find funny is that many women share the same fantasies, some wish to be dominated and controlled, they want their partner to own them and not hold back i mean even i could agree that that is pretty damn hot. being under the mercy of someone who wants to own you i mean hot damn. (feeling a bit flustered)
another typical fantasy, roll play,where you can dress up and be someone else. like the typical naughty nurse or the stripper. if i had a guy in front of me ina uniform i dont think i could keep my tongue in my mouth. well i say that but i would want to see the guy really fill out the uniform, you know the whole big muscles and washboard abs and the strong thighs, (drooling)
i mean im not opposed to dressing up to spice it up if you know what i mean. but damn guys can pull it off way better, however im probably bias as i know how to appreciate a good looking man but i do have to say some girls are right up there with the men i mean we do have great curves (winkwink)
any way i think i am done thinking about this topic although i am curious to think what you readers feel on the subject. leave comments and let me know.
laters Bloggers
Ashleigh xo
ps. im pretty partial to the fire fighter stripper if i say so myself
Monday, 5 October 2015
Annoyed as hell
Dear Bloggers/Readers,
Urg, i am so annoyed right now. i just dont understand. as you know from previous blogs i am in love with reading however the one down side to reading is that when you read a series you always have to wait for the next book to come out. right now i just finished a book by chloe walsh. she is an amazing writer and she has me hooked. i just finished her book two days ago and i am currently dying of boredom. i was so engrossed in the book i did not expect for it to end the way it did. i feel like i am dying inside. i didnt like the fact it ended with a cliffhanger nor did i like the fact that when i finished the book it said that the next book was available. so me being me i jumped at the chance to go buy it but of course when i go searching for it, it is not available. whats even worse is that i have no idea when the next book will be released.
so here i am sitting on my bed trying to distract myself from the book and it seems to be all i can think about. i just dont know what to do. sure i have been annoyed before and had to wait a while for other books to be released but for some reason this book has me all twisted up. its like its ll i can think about. maybe it was because of the way it ended. i mean it gets me thinking like how is it going to turn out, what will happen. i mean obviously i know that the two are going to end up together but what i am interested in is how they get there. whats going to happen when they sort it out.
as you can see i am really riled up about this. what else is there for me to do, i know i can try distract myself with another book but what will that do. i will be mega pissed of if the next book i read is a series and the books sequel is not out yet.
if any of you readers have any book suggestions please leave them in the comments box i would love some new reading material but if it is a non completed book series please do not leave them i think i would just die if i found another series that is amazing but i cant read it all in one go. as you have fiured out i am a compulsive reader and dont like waiting lol.
anyway readers i hope you enjoyed my rant and laughed at my expense stay tuned
laters
ashleigh xo
Urg, i am so annoyed right now. i just dont understand. as you know from previous blogs i am in love with reading however the one down side to reading is that when you read a series you always have to wait for the next book to come out. right now i just finished a book by chloe walsh. she is an amazing writer and she has me hooked. i just finished her book two days ago and i am currently dying of boredom. i was so engrossed in the book i did not expect for it to end the way it did. i feel like i am dying inside. i didnt like the fact it ended with a cliffhanger nor did i like the fact that when i finished the book it said that the next book was available. so me being me i jumped at the chance to go buy it but of course when i go searching for it, it is not available. whats even worse is that i have no idea when the next book will be released.
so here i am sitting on my bed trying to distract myself from the book and it seems to be all i can think about. i just dont know what to do. sure i have been annoyed before and had to wait a while for other books to be released but for some reason this book has me all twisted up. its like its ll i can think about. maybe it was because of the way it ended. i mean it gets me thinking like how is it going to turn out, what will happen. i mean obviously i know that the two are going to end up together but what i am interested in is how they get there. whats going to happen when they sort it out.
as you can see i am really riled up about this. what else is there for me to do, i know i can try distract myself with another book but what will that do. i will be mega pissed of if the next book i read is a series and the books sequel is not out yet.
if any of you readers have any book suggestions please leave them in the comments box i would love some new reading material but if it is a non completed book series please do not leave them i think i would just die if i found another series that is amazing but i cant read it all in one go. as you have fiured out i am a compulsive reader and dont like waiting lol.
anyway readers i hope you enjoyed my rant and laughed at my expense stay tuned
laters
ashleigh xo
Sunday, 4 October 2015
My best friend part 1
Dear Bloggers/Readers,
Recently i just got back from a holiday with my crazy best friend.
My best friends name is Hannah, and i have never met anyone like her before, she drives me up the wall and i do the same to here but we feel like we are sisters. we just get each other. we can read each others minds i swear sometimes it feels like shes in my head. on some occasions we will be sitting in complete silence and the next thing you know we will start singing at the same time, it will be the same song and the same lyrics, its freaky as fuck. we always say that we are sharing the same brain waves and that we must have been twins in our past lifes because that is the only expanation i can give for the freaky stuff that happens to us on a daily basis.
anyway recently we had to say a heartbreaking goodbye as she left me to go to another school. luckily she is still close by, i dont know what i would do if i lost my bestfriend and luckily i dont have to think about that. any how a memory of us popped into my head and i thought why not share it. i'm pretty sure there are tones of people who have a crazy best friend and have numerous stories to tell so i though i would start the chain reaction.
if you have seen my previous posts you will know what some of my friendships turn into, they are crazy and full of joy. all you have to do is look at the video and see what i mean, and for those who are readying this and havent looked i urge you too, you get to laugh at my expense and trust me you will enjoy it.
again back to my lovely memory of my best friend. before i start i want to say that my best friend is an amputee and she is a quad, meaning that she lost her arms and legs. now i am very protective of my best friend and if you are reading this and have something against disabled people, i suggest you exit the screen right now and do not leave comments because i wont have it. she is the most amazing person i know and she is strong physically and mentally and i wont allow for her to be put down. i also wont answer any personal questions about her as it is no ones business all people need to know is that she is my best friend.
okay lets begin. basically a few weeks before we went to Jamaica we were in America getting her prosthetic legs so that she could walk and be taller, not that she could walk before but this made it easier for her although it was hard work but i was there to support her along with family and im glad i got to see my best friend succeed. okay so now that she has her legs we ended up in Jamaica. we shared a room for the holiday and let me tell you this i almost died a few times from asphyxiation because she made me laugh so hard.
anyway half way through the holiday we went down to the pool for the day and went and sat in one of the spa beds. i had to wheel her down to the pool and beds in her wheel chair as wearing the legs takes a toll and she needed to sit down, i didnt mind at all. so when we get to the beds i wheel her up about a metre away from the beds. i take all the junk that i placed on her lap off and place in on the beds so i can organise it. i turn my back for about 3 seconds before i hear a thud from behind me. i was almost afraid to turn around but when i did i wanted to laugh so fricking hard i felt like my stomach has closed up because i was trying so hard not to. there on the floor was Hannah with her prosthetic legs in front of her spread open, she was looking so shocked like she couldn't believe that had just happened. that did it i laughed out loud dispite her dismay. i bent down and pulled her legs of while i was still laughing. she just shook her head and told me that its not funny, all she wanted was some independence. my response to her was "of all days you decide to have independence is when you are sitting in your messed up wheel chair on a slope with one brake that it dodgy" i cried with laughter all over again while i propped her legs over my sunbed. when i finally did sit down she was like you could have just helped me and i said "i did i took your legs of for you" and gave her one of my smiles. lets just say i got the dirties death glare from her.
so yeah that is one of my many moments with my best friend.
i have many more and will be happy to share.
keep an eye out for my other posts as well.
if you have any memories of your own dont hesitate to send them my way i would love to hear what you and your friends have gotten up to :)
laters bloggers
ashleigh xo
Recently i just got back from a holiday with my crazy best friend.
My best friends name is Hannah, and i have never met anyone like her before, she drives me up the wall and i do the same to here but we feel like we are sisters. we just get each other. we can read each others minds i swear sometimes it feels like shes in my head. on some occasions we will be sitting in complete silence and the next thing you know we will start singing at the same time, it will be the same song and the same lyrics, its freaky as fuck. we always say that we are sharing the same brain waves and that we must have been twins in our past lifes because that is the only expanation i can give for the freaky stuff that happens to us on a daily basis.
anyway recently we had to say a heartbreaking goodbye as she left me to go to another school. luckily she is still close by, i dont know what i would do if i lost my bestfriend and luckily i dont have to think about that. any how a memory of us popped into my head and i thought why not share it. i'm pretty sure there are tones of people who have a crazy best friend and have numerous stories to tell so i though i would start the chain reaction.
if you have seen my previous posts you will know what some of my friendships turn into, they are crazy and full of joy. all you have to do is look at the video and see what i mean, and for those who are readying this and havent looked i urge you too, you get to laugh at my expense and trust me you will enjoy it.
again back to my lovely memory of my best friend. before i start i want to say that my best friend is an amputee and she is a quad, meaning that she lost her arms and legs. now i am very protective of my best friend and if you are reading this and have something against disabled people, i suggest you exit the screen right now and do not leave comments because i wont have it. she is the most amazing person i know and she is strong physically and mentally and i wont allow for her to be put down. i also wont answer any personal questions about her as it is no ones business all people need to know is that she is my best friend.
okay lets begin. basically a few weeks before we went to Jamaica we were in America getting her prosthetic legs so that she could walk and be taller, not that she could walk before but this made it easier for her although it was hard work but i was there to support her along with family and im glad i got to see my best friend succeed. okay so now that she has her legs we ended up in Jamaica. we shared a room for the holiday and let me tell you this i almost died a few times from asphyxiation because she made me laugh so hard.
anyway half way through the holiday we went down to the pool for the day and went and sat in one of the spa beds. i had to wheel her down to the pool and beds in her wheel chair as wearing the legs takes a toll and she needed to sit down, i didnt mind at all. so when we get to the beds i wheel her up about a metre away from the beds. i take all the junk that i placed on her lap off and place in on the beds so i can organise it. i turn my back for about 3 seconds before i hear a thud from behind me. i was almost afraid to turn around but when i did i wanted to laugh so fricking hard i felt like my stomach has closed up because i was trying so hard not to. there on the floor was Hannah with her prosthetic legs in front of her spread open, she was looking so shocked like she couldn't believe that had just happened. that did it i laughed out loud dispite her dismay. i bent down and pulled her legs of while i was still laughing. she just shook her head and told me that its not funny, all she wanted was some independence. my response to her was "of all days you decide to have independence is when you are sitting in your messed up wheel chair on a slope with one brake that it dodgy" i cried with laughter all over again while i propped her legs over my sunbed. when i finally did sit down she was like you could have just helped me and i said "i did i took your legs of for you" and gave her one of my smiles. lets just say i got the dirties death glare from her.
so yeah that is one of my many moments with my best friend.
i have many more and will be happy to share.
keep an eye out for my other posts as well.
if you have any memories of your own dont hesitate to send them my way i would love to hear what you and your friends have gotten up to :)
laters bloggers
ashleigh xo
BOOKWORM
Dear Bloggers / Readers,
i dont know what to do when the obsession takes over, its like the books call to be and i have to answer.
i have decided that i will start to review the books i read, this way it might give me a break between books if i have to summarise what i have read. i would love to share what i read with all you lovely bloggers :)
so with no further ado i am signing off
laters readers
ashleigh xo
okay this is not really a rant of anger its literally putting my jumbled thoughts on to a page. this topic being about Books. feel free to click the exit button if i'm boring you.
Anyway, Me and Books are very close friends in fact i would probably say im a stalker. I am obsessed with reading. I love to read, its calming.
When i was younger and in foster care, i would get stressed and upset and need a release. My first foster parents weren't the greatest people to me and it got bad. i would hide myself in my room. At first i would sit and listen to music to try and calm down and take my mind of it. but then that stopped working. For a birthday present i was given a set of books the Twilight Series and i thought why not read them. at first it took me 2 weeks to finish all 4 books. After that i began another series called the nightworld and it took me a week. soon enough i was finishing books within days and in hours. i was becoming obsessed with finding a book that would keep my mind occupied.
You see reading took my mind away from everything, if the book was well written i would be pulled in forgetting about the world around me. If you ask any of my friends they will tell you, when i read its as if all my other senses are switched off, if someone talks to me i would be oblivious, my school bell would ring and i wouldn't even flinch the only way to break me out of my trance would be to nudge me or take the book away from me.
Reading became my own get away, if it all became too much i would just pick up a book and i would be find. as i was so stressed out my addiction to books got worse i forgot to study for school and complete all my homework because i was dying to finish my books (im still the same way but less demanding) anyway i started to realize this and slowed down the pace of reading. I got my grades back up and started to spend all my free time reading and minimised my reading to 1 book an evening and start writing instead. now i gained another hobby/obsession.
i dont know what to do when the obsession takes over, its like the books call to be and i have to answer.
i have decided that i will start to review the books i read, this way it might give me a break between books if i have to summarise what i have read. i would love to share what i read with all you lovely bloggers :)
so with no further ado i am signing off
laters readers
ashleigh xo
Jumping back in with both eyes open
Dear Readers/Bloggers,
You don't know how good it feels to be writing again. I've missed it, i forgot what it is like to loose yourself in the world of words.
The fact is i have been a mess lately and i kind of got lost in the world of books. I mean literally, Everyday i am reading without a break, I always have a book in sights. It helps me get away from the real world but i realised i shouldn't be hiding. i need to be out in the world and doing what i love and that what i have decided to do.
My blogs will be apart of me and lord knows this is what i need to keep me sane.
Anyway where should i start, my life sort of went to crap a few weeks ago okay that's a lie. my life went to crap a few months ago. my last blog was probably the last time i was truly happy.
i was free and living it large in Spain. however i am back home at my best-friends house and i don't know what's wrong with me. maybe i have been stressed with the prospect of going back to school, well i don't know what i was so afraid of. I'm back at school and loving being with my friends once again. although the work load has gone down I am starting to feel the pull of stress but this time i wont let it drag me down. i have my wonderful readers to thank for that. even if just one person looks at this it will make my day as people are reading what i write. sometimes i write shit but hey i don't care.
well this is all for my first back to the job blog but there will be more. i promise
anyway laters readers
ashleigh
You don't know how good it feels to be writing again. I've missed it, i forgot what it is like to loose yourself in the world of words.
The fact is i have been a mess lately and i kind of got lost in the world of books. I mean literally, Everyday i am reading without a break, I always have a book in sights. It helps me get away from the real world but i realised i shouldn't be hiding. i need to be out in the world and doing what i love and that what i have decided to do.
My blogs will be apart of me and lord knows this is what i need to keep me sane.
Anyway where should i start, my life sort of went to crap a few weeks ago okay that's a lie. my life went to crap a few months ago. my last blog was probably the last time i was truly happy.
i was free and living it large in Spain. however i am back home at my best-friends house and i don't know what's wrong with me. maybe i have been stressed with the prospect of going back to school, well i don't know what i was so afraid of. I'm back at school and loving being with my friends once again. although the work load has gone down I am starting to feel the pull of stress but this time i wont let it drag me down. i have my wonderful readers to thank for that. even if just one person looks at this it will make my day as people are reading what i write. sometimes i write shit but hey i don't care.
well this is all for my first back to the job blog but there will be more. i promise
anyway laters readers
ashleigh
Tuesday, 28 April 2015
LOCKED OUT VIDEO POST
Dear Bloggers / Readers ,
if you have read my previous post then you will understand where this video comes from. i completely forgot about the video diary we took on that holiday and found the video of when we finally escaped hell. bare in mind this video also has other stuff in it after my sisters rant. any way if you want to pop over to this link and watch the video your more than welcome.
Link ------->
https://plus.google.com/u/0/104194306862153542297/posts/LMXgRmxiexc?pid=6142903657052723538&oid=104194306862153542297
If you cannot click the link copy and paste into the search bar.
if you enjoy these posts please leave a comment below
Ashleii xo
if you have read my previous post then you will understand where this video comes from. i completely forgot about the video diary we took on that holiday and found the video of when we finally escaped hell. bare in mind this video also has other stuff in it after my sisters rant. any way if you want to pop over to this link and watch the video your more than welcome.
Link ------->
https://plus.google.com/u/0/104194306862153542297/posts/LMXgRmxiexc?pid=6142903657052723538&oid=104194306862153542297
If you cannot click the link copy and paste into the search bar.
if you enjoy these posts please leave a comment below
Ashleii xo
Locked out
Dear Bloggers / Readers,
Well this is me kinda reliving the past, i am currently out in Spain with my Nan on my 18th birthday retreat as a present to myself. i have a few more days left before i have to head back home to England where the weather is unpredictable.
Anyway back to the theme of this blog. I decided that since its a nice day i would go up on the roof terrace and sunbath. while i was up there i was flooded with memories from a previous holiday with my foster parents and foster sister.
Now let me tell you it was not my fault about what happened. okay i will take partial blame but i blame it most on the building. i mean who the hell designs a sliding door that can only be opened from the inside i mean c'mon there should be a way to open it from the outside but sadly in this case there wasnt. so anyway one day me and my sister went and sun bathed on the terrace and i decided to shut the door so no bugs could get inside (bare in mind i had no clue about the door) we were out there for about 2 hours before i was desperate for the toilet. so when i got up i went to open the door i found that i couldn't my sister looked over and me and asked why i haven't gone inside yet. i took one look at the door and back at her and whispered "were locked out" she was just as shocked as me. next thing you know she is having a full blown argument with herself about how stupid the doors were and how stupid we could have been not to know. when she finally calmed down we looked at each other and laughed. like a full blown belly aching laugh. tears were pouring out of our eye as we were laugh so hard. we thought of all things to happen and of all places we get locked outside on a 5 story building terrace with no way of getting down. we were quite a bit away from the pool and the life guards could just about see us. now we first tried banging on the door trying to get my foster carers attention. i was shouting and banging and calling her name.
now here's a little background into what i was going to say next. my foster carer had previously had words with me about shouting her name when she is upstairs and i am downstairs. she says that if i want her i should go up and find her not shout her name for everyone to hear. so i agreed.
so now here i am in front of the doors shouting "sonia please let us in, im sorry for shouting you name, please open the door. i know im shouting now but its an emergency. c'mon sonia i said i was sorry. pleaseeee. sonia.." this kept on for a while before we finally realised she isnt in. now we were stumped on what to do next as we have no phones, no keys and no water. an no food. we looked around and saw that the life guards were by the pool and we starting shouting and waving our hands trying to get their attention . when we finally got their attention they had the audacity to wave back and then continue with what they were doing. all the effort we spent trying to get their attention back fired.
By now we have been trying to get back in for an hour. i had forgotten about my need for the toilet, all i could focus on was getting in. after a while we just sat and thought about our next idea on how to get help. about half an hour later we looked over the ledge and saw a women walking by. we decided she would be our best option. we called down to her and told her our situation and asked if she could get security from the office to come get us out. she thankfully agreed and went to get help. so for five minutes we waited patiently by the door. next thing you know the curtains being pulled back and i see my foster carers sleepy face appear. all i could think of is how the hell did she manage to sleep through all of my shouting. i have a pretty decent set of lungs.
anyway just as she has opened the door the security guys walked in and asked if there was a problem. we then had to explain that she had just got up and didnt hear us this past hour and an half which in my opinion was bullshit she just wanted me to suffer... well thats what i think anyway.
then my mind skipped to another memory, this time i was on the terrace where i am now and again i got myself locked outside. this time i was alone as i decided to come to spain again for my 17th birthday. again it was a nice day and i went upstairs. bare in mind i took precautions, these were different doors, but because it was an extension the doors were at a slant so the open outwards. anyway, when i went up i left the key in the lock and opened the door wide. later on during the day there was a big gust of wind and the next thing you know the doors are slamming shut. all i could think was this is not going to happen to me again.
i went over to the doors and tried to pull them open but for the life of me they wouldn't budge. it was then that i realized i left the key in the door and that had somehow blocked the other door from opening. as im pulling hard on the doors all i could think about was my nan and what she would do if she came home to realise i had just broken her doors. i ended up sending a silent pray and tugged as hard as i could on the doors. next thing you know im flying back the doors are open and i literally cried with happyness. i grabbed all my things and refused to go near the roof terrace again for the rest of the holiday. i even stayed clear of the steps leading up to the terrace. anyway being up here is the 2nd time since then. i refuse to get myself into any situation like this again. but hey ho i thought i would share my wonderful experiences of being locked out in a foreign country. oh if your wondering i have also been locked out at home but then again that is another story and another rant all together.
thank you for reading all the way to the end, if any of you have shared the same experiences please dont hesitate to comment. oh and if you want follow me too. that way you can share my wonderful humour and terrible life experiences anyway
bye
Ashleii xo
Well this is me kinda reliving the past, i am currently out in Spain with my Nan on my 18th birthday retreat as a present to myself. i have a few more days left before i have to head back home to England where the weather is unpredictable.
Anyway back to the theme of this blog. I decided that since its a nice day i would go up on the roof terrace and sunbath. while i was up there i was flooded with memories from a previous holiday with my foster parents and foster sister.
Now let me tell you it was not my fault about what happened. okay i will take partial blame but i blame it most on the building. i mean who the hell designs a sliding door that can only be opened from the inside i mean c'mon there should be a way to open it from the outside but sadly in this case there wasnt. so anyway one day me and my sister went and sun bathed on the terrace and i decided to shut the door so no bugs could get inside (bare in mind i had no clue about the door) we were out there for about 2 hours before i was desperate for the toilet. so when i got up i went to open the door i found that i couldn't my sister looked over and me and asked why i haven't gone inside yet. i took one look at the door and back at her and whispered "were locked out" she was just as shocked as me. next thing you know she is having a full blown argument with herself about how stupid the doors were and how stupid we could have been not to know. when she finally calmed down we looked at each other and laughed. like a full blown belly aching laugh. tears were pouring out of our eye as we were laugh so hard. we thought of all things to happen and of all places we get locked outside on a 5 story building terrace with no way of getting down. we were quite a bit away from the pool and the life guards could just about see us. now we first tried banging on the door trying to get my foster carers attention. i was shouting and banging and calling her name.
now here's a little background into what i was going to say next. my foster carer had previously had words with me about shouting her name when she is upstairs and i am downstairs. she says that if i want her i should go up and find her not shout her name for everyone to hear. so i agreed.
so now here i am in front of the doors shouting "sonia please let us in, im sorry for shouting you name, please open the door. i know im shouting now but its an emergency. c'mon sonia i said i was sorry. pleaseeee. sonia.." this kept on for a while before we finally realised she isnt in. now we were stumped on what to do next as we have no phones, no keys and no water. an no food. we looked around and saw that the life guards were by the pool and we starting shouting and waving our hands trying to get their attention . when we finally got their attention they had the audacity to wave back and then continue with what they were doing. all the effort we spent trying to get their attention back fired.
By now we have been trying to get back in for an hour. i had forgotten about my need for the toilet, all i could focus on was getting in. after a while we just sat and thought about our next idea on how to get help. about half an hour later we looked over the ledge and saw a women walking by. we decided she would be our best option. we called down to her and told her our situation and asked if she could get security from the office to come get us out. she thankfully agreed and went to get help. so for five minutes we waited patiently by the door. next thing you know the curtains being pulled back and i see my foster carers sleepy face appear. all i could think of is how the hell did she manage to sleep through all of my shouting. i have a pretty decent set of lungs.
anyway just as she has opened the door the security guys walked in and asked if there was a problem. we then had to explain that she had just got up and didnt hear us this past hour and an half which in my opinion was bullshit she just wanted me to suffer... well thats what i think anyway.
then my mind skipped to another memory, this time i was on the terrace where i am now and again i got myself locked outside. this time i was alone as i decided to come to spain again for my 17th birthday. again it was a nice day and i went upstairs. bare in mind i took precautions, these were different doors, but because it was an extension the doors were at a slant so the open outwards. anyway, when i went up i left the key in the lock and opened the door wide. later on during the day there was a big gust of wind and the next thing you know the doors are slamming shut. all i could think was this is not going to happen to me again.
i went over to the doors and tried to pull them open but for the life of me they wouldn't budge. it was then that i realized i left the key in the door and that had somehow blocked the other door from opening. as im pulling hard on the doors all i could think about was my nan and what she would do if she came home to realise i had just broken her doors. i ended up sending a silent pray and tugged as hard as i could on the doors. next thing you know im flying back the doors are open and i literally cried with happyness. i grabbed all my things and refused to go near the roof terrace again for the rest of the holiday. i even stayed clear of the steps leading up to the terrace. anyway being up here is the 2nd time since then. i refuse to get myself into any situation like this again. but hey ho i thought i would share my wonderful experiences of being locked out in a foreign country. oh if your wondering i have also been locked out at home but then again that is another story and another rant all together.
thank you for reading all the way to the end, if any of you have shared the same experiences please dont hesitate to comment. oh and if you want follow me too. that way you can share my wonderful humour and terrible life experiences anyway
bye
Ashleii xo
The Election
Dear Bloggers / Readers,
Where should i begin for this Rant. Okay watching lasts nights episode of mock of the week got me thinking. I have been getting letters in the post about this years upcoming election and it is bugging me. I mean i have no fricking clue about what is going on in this election and if i'm quite frank i don't care. Most of the aims for the people running are based around the older generation (no offence) and not many of their goals help young people.
I would quite happily vote if i knew what was going on, In my old school no one spoke of the upcoming election and the candidates running and their goal. I feel that they should be encouraging young people to get involved by keeping them updated and informing them of what they need to know. Every time i ask about the election i am given bias views on the three running parties and being told that "vote for labor" or "vote for the conservative party". i don't want to hear that, what i want to know is what their policies are and i want them explained to me and how they will benifit me and the rest of the country. why am i going to place a vote with a party i have no understanding of.
Yes i do blame myself as i could probably try harder but i'm 18 and yeah that makes me an adult in the eyes of the law but i am still a child in a sense and have some learning to do. is it so hard for teachers to explain how the election process works. and true my parents could help me but yet again they are bias and i don't want to influenced by what they have to say because c'mon when your parents tell you something they expect you to believe them.
anyway if any of you have any comments on this i wouldn't mind hearing about them. if i'm honest i would appreciate it. many teenagers my age feel the same. All the grown ups are talking about and we are here thinking what the hell should we do. all we want is a bit of guidence and information is that so hard ?
okay rant over. thank you for reading Bloggers
Ashleii xo
Where should i begin for this Rant. Okay watching lasts nights episode of mock of the week got me thinking. I have been getting letters in the post about this years upcoming election and it is bugging me. I mean i have no fricking clue about what is going on in this election and if i'm quite frank i don't care. Most of the aims for the people running are based around the older generation (no offence) and not many of their goals help young people.
I would quite happily vote if i knew what was going on, In my old school no one spoke of the upcoming election and the candidates running and their goal. I feel that they should be encouraging young people to get involved by keeping them updated and informing them of what they need to know. Every time i ask about the election i am given bias views on the three running parties and being told that "vote for labor" or "vote for the conservative party". i don't want to hear that, what i want to know is what their policies are and i want them explained to me and how they will benifit me and the rest of the country. why am i going to place a vote with a party i have no understanding of.
Yes i do blame myself as i could probably try harder but i'm 18 and yeah that makes me an adult in the eyes of the law but i am still a child in a sense and have some learning to do. is it so hard for teachers to explain how the election process works. and true my parents could help me but yet again they are bias and i don't want to influenced by what they have to say because c'mon when your parents tell you something they expect you to believe them.
anyway if any of you have any comments on this i wouldn't mind hearing about them. if i'm honest i would appreciate it. many teenagers my age feel the same. All the grown ups are talking about and we are here thinking what the hell should we do. all we want is a bit of guidence and information is that so hard ?
okay rant over. thank you for reading Bloggers
Ashleii xo
Monday, 27 April 2015
day to day drama : I'm Confused.com
day to day drama : I'm Confused.com: Dear Bloggers / Readers, Well here is your first insight to a teenage girls mind, let me warn you sometimes its not pretty. As for the t...
I'm Confused.com
Dear Bloggers / Readers,
Well here is your first insight to a teenage girls mind, let me warn you sometimes its not pretty.
As for the title of this post i feel that it is fitting as i am literally feeling confused. All day my nan has been talking to be about my fiance and let me tell i'm tired of it. Not because of the questions or her its the whole thing in general.
Now WOMEN OF THE WORLD i am talking to you as i need help. My Boyfriend / Fiance is clingy there's no doubt about that. He's 20 years old and he is supposed to be enjoying his life, not constantly bothering me with texts and phone calls. Fair enough we have a long distance type relationship going on as we are 5 hours apart but seriously i have a life and it doesn't revolve around being on my phone every second of the day.
I know some of you are thinking whats there to complain about well let me tell you, its not just the constant texts in the morning, i mean a few is fine to say good morning and that but when I AM still asleep i really don't appreciate it. I have trouble sleeping and he knows this and when i get a good night sleep i want to sleep in till my alarm goes off, which he also knows. However with him there is a fine line of him knowing and understanding. He seems to think that its okay to call me 8 times in the morning continuously until i picked up. Now if someone doesn't pick up the phone after the two tries then i leave them be especially when its early in the morning but he didn't now wouldn't you get pissed of as well. And its not just that i am busy all the time. i used to be in full time education but due to medical reasons i have to take the rest of this school year off. However i have a full-time job as a Carer for a 15 year old disabled girl and she is amazing and most of my time is spent with her. Now at work you don't use your phone, your meant to be professional i mean you can use for phone every now and then but constantly however my boyfriend seems to think lets piss ashleii off and text her while she is working. Do you know how frustrating it is to see my phone vibrate every 5 minutes from new message and my boss looks at me and asks "is that him again" even she is getting tired of it. i need my space.
He is at university and has about 6 hours of lectures a week. i work from 2-8 every weekday along with 3pm on friday till sunday at 2pm. i barely spend time at home cause i am working and when i get home i am exhausted. i also have to focus on keeping up with my 4 a-level subjects and their coursework. i havent got the time. I am stressy because i am always going to doctors appointments and hospital check ups and i dont enjoy being stressed out by him. he thinks that because he has all this free time i do too and that i should text him 24/7. i don't. i don't want to be glued to my phone
Do i love him? yes i do. He is always there for me but i need to breathe sometimes. i feel smothered is that so wrong? what i'm confused about is how to tell him to basically back off and give me room to breathe but bare in mind i do love him with all my heart.
Now MEN OF THE WORLD i ask you how the hell do i get him to back off a little. i mean i know you men don't appreciate a clingy woman so how do you get them to back off in a nice way ? please help cause i am so confused on how to deal with this.
anyway rant over laters Bloggers
Ashleii xo
Well here is your first insight to a teenage girls mind, let me warn you sometimes its not pretty.
As for the title of this post i feel that it is fitting as i am literally feeling confused. All day my nan has been talking to be about my fiance and let me tell i'm tired of it. Not because of the questions or her its the whole thing in general.
Now WOMEN OF THE WORLD i am talking to you as i need help. My Boyfriend / Fiance is clingy there's no doubt about that. He's 20 years old and he is supposed to be enjoying his life, not constantly bothering me with texts and phone calls. Fair enough we have a long distance type relationship going on as we are 5 hours apart but seriously i have a life and it doesn't revolve around being on my phone every second of the day.
I know some of you are thinking whats there to complain about well let me tell you, its not just the constant texts in the morning, i mean a few is fine to say good morning and that but when I AM still asleep i really don't appreciate it. I have trouble sleeping and he knows this and when i get a good night sleep i want to sleep in till my alarm goes off, which he also knows. However with him there is a fine line of him knowing and understanding. He seems to think that its okay to call me 8 times in the morning continuously until i picked up. Now if someone doesn't pick up the phone after the two tries then i leave them be especially when its early in the morning but he didn't now wouldn't you get pissed of as well. And its not just that i am busy all the time. i used to be in full time education but due to medical reasons i have to take the rest of this school year off. However i have a full-time job as a Carer for a 15 year old disabled girl and she is amazing and most of my time is spent with her. Now at work you don't use your phone, your meant to be professional i mean you can use for phone every now and then but constantly however my boyfriend seems to think lets piss ashleii off and text her while she is working. Do you know how frustrating it is to see my phone vibrate every 5 minutes from new message and my boss looks at me and asks "is that him again" even she is getting tired of it. i need my space.
He is at university and has about 6 hours of lectures a week. i work from 2-8 every weekday along with 3pm on friday till sunday at 2pm. i barely spend time at home cause i am working and when i get home i am exhausted. i also have to focus on keeping up with my 4 a-level subjects and their coursework. i havent got the time. I am stressy because i am always going to doctors appointments and hospital check ups and i dont enjoy being stressed out by him. he thinks that because he has all this free time i do too and that i should text him 24/7. i don't. i don't want to be glued to my phone
Do i love him? yes i do. He is always there for me but i need to breathe sometimes. i feel smothered is that so wrong? what i'm confused about is how to tell him to basically back off and give me room to breathe but bare in mind i do love him with all my heart.
Now MEN OF THE WORLD i ask you how the hell do i get him to back off a little. i mean i know you men don't appreciate a clingy woman so how do you get them to back off in a nice way ? please help cause i am so confused on how to deal with this.
anyway rant over laters Bloggers
Ashleii xo
My First Blog
Dear Bloggers / Readers,
Well this is my first Blog and i just want to say this is not a normal blog. This blog is going to be filled with random posts on everything and anything ranging from angry rants to sunny days in the park. Many bloggers on this site will be advertising their products or company but not me. yes i will probably mention my published book at times but not to the extent where i'm telling you to buy it.
Well there is my introduction if you are interested in the life of an 18 year old please follow adn read my posts but if not dont worry i'm not offended but i will say your missing out because if i'm honest im actually pretty funny and will probably brigton up your day with all the teen drama.
anyway enjoy Bloggers
Ashleii xo
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)